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I will not let people deflect a compliment. Like no, you will damn well accept that you're awesome and cute, if it's the last thing I do

About me: just misread "Infinity Gauntlet" as "Infinity Gusset"

skee-lo: I wish I was a little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
me: okay, I'm with you
skee-lo: I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
me: sure, makes sense
skee-lo: I wish I had a rabbit in a hat
with a bat, and 64 impala
me: ,I, guess?
skee-lo: I wish I was like 6'9"
me: you lost me, skee-lo, that's too tall. you'll hit your head on door frames

reference to ableist slur Show more

letting my bread dough rise like an 800 pound gorilla with something to prove

Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Gorilla £800
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

The only thing I have to prove is that I love my 800lb curvy gorilla

I'm only a 245 lb gorilla no matter how many protein shakes I drink, someone please help


Bird Site, screenshots, a good time Show more

definitive ranking of creatures that move by hopping

- rabbits
- kangaroos
- tiggers
- anything else i forgot about
- crickets

i love my disgusting, gruesome wife. i love her terrible curves, never the same form as the last time i'm drawn to her silhouette.

i love my eldritch, omnipresent wife because she lives in my head and reminds me what to get at the store. she also tells me who would be an easy kill.

i love my wife because she eats the flowers i get her the first day she has them instead of eating them after they rot like i assume most other girls do.

like thank you for telling me i don't have to be a size 2 to be beautiful, white guy who looks like the default skyrim character. your opinion tipped the scales, for me, in my mind.

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The Orbit Mastodon

This is an instance for people who find Nazis more offensive than nipples. Queer friendly, trans friendly, fine with tagged nudity, will block harassing instances without hesitation.