Jason Thibeault @lousycanuck@mastodon.the-orbit.net

which donut do you like best? 🍩

Confused? Here's what I know.

Conner @ cryptids.online is publicly calling out people who have made unwelcome sexual comments to others. (weirder.earth blocks this domain, which makes it hard for us to track)

they are:

Max Bedroom (now offline): https://cryptids.online/@gayalien/102662166288387127

bridge: https://cryptids.online/@gayalien/102658498527228312
bridge's public apology: https://deadinsi.de/@cute/102647608300125660

nutt godd's name has also come up. her offenses happened many months ago, and she has also apologized.

more people who will speak up on your behalf and protect your anonymity if you are sexually harassed:
@popstar
@revolverocelot
and as previously mentioned:
@magicalmilly
(all offers stated here: https://myasstodon.xyz/@popstar/102662362013728628)

it's valid to decide to block these folks forever, or to accept apologies and give them another chance. But let's please all be supportive of those who have been harassed. 💚

if you've received this kind of unwanted attention, some folks have offerend to speak up on your behalf and protect your anonymity. Here's one: https://elekk.xyz/@magicalmilly/102662669240151700

mr sand man
come on and slam
make him welcome
to the jam

policing victims over *how* they speak out is bad for so many reasons. don't even treat it like a separate issue, simply disregard it from the beginning.

1. it's still not gonna be worse than what the harasser did to them
2. it makes future victims less likely to speak out for fear of backlash
3. they're already dealing with a lot have some fucking compassion
4. coming out strong with it is literally self defence
5. it doesn't make the accusation less credible

@lousycanuck I think the apology is important - openly acknowledging that you wronged someone is an idea from restorative justice that I think is valuable. But absolutely, it's vital that you follow it up by doing better.

If i interact with any of those ppl who inspired this discussion please let me know. You can get a friend to tell me instead of coming out yourself is too difficult. I just hate thinking I'm buddy buddy with someone who hurt ppl or gets away with terrible shit

like deadass if I'm still interacting with someone who's known to be a creep can you just tell me so I can remove them from my circle. I just ain't active in y'all's discords. or really any. and I don't have time to look into nameless threads to figure out who is being talked about. I *promise* I'm gonna listen, I just unfollow-muted two people once I figured out who was being talked about. I'm just oblivious to happenings and post more than I read

i think the culture of this platform has really enabled crossing boundaries tbqh. i don't think the culture is necessarily *bad*, i just think that this whole perception that everyone is polyamorous and open to highly sexual flirting is uhhhh not accurate or okay.

hell, i'm even someone who will flirt without explicit consent but i've been lucky enough to have only done it with people who reciprocate or know it's not me being serious.

that being said, if there is a pattern of constant flirting and no reciprocation, stop. apologize. confirm it was okay/not okay.

if there is a pattern of doing this to people who are significantly younger than you, maybe question why you feel the need to do this to younger people without checking consent or their age or their feelings on it.

If someone tells you that they can't recognize faces/has prosopagnosia, please don't say "Oh, I have something like that. I can't remember names."

It's not the same fucking thing.

I get that so fucking often and it's not the same thing. If you and I talk in one room and then walk somewhere else and run into each other minutes later in another place, there's a good chance I'll be very uncertain if you're the same person.

That CHANGES shit, okay? It's not a name thing.

@tparadox @taweret the chairs have eyes and they're creeping me out

@Louisa Christie Brinkley queen of jemdom (jeans femdom)